For many years, I thought being in love meant doing everything I could to make the other person happy, and at times putting aside my own joy. I soon realised that I was becoming someone the person wanted me to be – instead of who I really was. It took years before I learnt that the best way you can love someone is by being who you are – for your own sake. Because if the person loves you, there is no need for anything to change in order to be compatible; ultimately it would be about compromise and complementing each other’s strengths and weaknesses.
As I listen to lyrics of love songs, I become aware of how phrases such as ‘How can I live without you?’ or ‘We belong together…’ can sometimes give us false expectations of what love truly is. And frankly speaking, I feel love in its purest form is not at all about heaping expectations on your loved one. I’m not an expert at love and I’m still learning how to love selflessly, but I’ll keep trying with the best intentions at heart.
Love & Friendship
What about love in friendships? For me, there’s is something sacred about the love I have for my female besties. The connection I have with them is very much a sisterhood. I’m still very close to my childhood bestfriend and now that we have kids of our own, it is an amazing feeling to share the love with her kids too. And as I grow older, I cherish and embrace these female frienships more because I know how much we need to break the stigma that if too many women get together, cat fights happen. I’m so glad that women today look to empower each other more instead of criticising each other. I’m a true believer in always showing support to female friends and that it’s not just about being a support system through tough times, but most importantly it’s celebrating each other’s successes. We may not all have the same lifestyle or ambition, but what matters is that we are there for each other. We give constructive comments, we cheer for each other and we cry together in sadness, pain and in moments of joy. To all my amazing women friends, I thank you for your love, courage, laughter, tears, always available hugs, words of wisdom and silly crazy jokes. I appreciate your presence in my life. And I am blessed to always have a “sister” to reach out to at any given moment in need. I love you all!
In this issue, we talk about relationships and explore the idea of how you can have a better partnership, whether it’s with your spouse, your child or even yourself. It may sound like a cliché, but I do believe in the idea that you can only love another person authentically after you’ve first loved yourself.
Also, being in a relationship is as much about letting go as it is about holding on and not giving up. Let’s always take a step back to look at how we love others and how we can better appreciate one another.
Preview the Feb/March issue here.