When you sense your stress level and anger rising because your child misbehaves, don’t wait for the explosion point. Losing your temper is normal but don’t lash out in anger. Walk away and calm down with this countdown on anger management before taking action:
8. It happens to mums more
All the experts Young Parents spoke to agree that mums tend to lose their temper more. “This is because the mother is usually the one who disciplines the child, supervises homework and manages the domestic affairs at home,” says Frances Yeo, principal psychologist at Thomson Paediatric Centre (The Child Development Centre).
Generally speaking, mums tend to be more verbally aggressive, while dads are the ones who use physical violence, Reshmi says. But mums also tend to seek help more frequently.
7. Your kid won’t forget
It’s okay to give him a tongue-lashing; he’ll forget it sooner or later. Spare the rod and spoil the child, right? Those are all myths, says Reshmi. Even infants are aware of their environment and learn from it, so family experiences do affect their personality development and how they cope.
Frances adds: “Children learn through modelling. For example, if a parent yells or hits the child, the boy may also do the same when he’s angry.” Your kid may react by becoming rebellious, withdrawn or even anxious and insecure.
Reshmi cautions: “In primary school, aggression in the family environment is likely to impact the child’s school performance and manifest as conduct or discipline problems, or as depression, if the anger is turned inwards.”