A CLOSER BOND
I often get asked: “don’t you get jealous when he seems to really enjoy himself with someone who isn’t you?” or “what if he discovers he prefers the other woman and leaves you?” Despite having a very jealous personality that Thomas is well aware of, I hold a very different perspective. Yes, we both have fun and explore other people, but at the end of the day, nothing beats what you truly cherish. New doesn’t always mean amazing.
It just means whoever we meet somehow highlights what we love and appreciate about our partners, sexually or otherwise. On top of that, Thomas respects that I have concrete needs for boundary enforcement and one of the top rules for alternative relationships is to never force yourself if you don’t feel comfortable. This is why I’ve insisted any extracurricular sexual activity on his part can only be done in my presence such as at swinger parties – doing it when I’m unaware or not around is automatically seen as cheating.
Ideally, we’d continue our arrangement until we both agree it’s time to stop. Although, we’ve met plenty of middle-aged couples who still enjoy swinger parties, and young couples who catch the late night train so that their babysitter can go home. In terms of our own private cuckolding arrangement, I’ve stressed to Thomas that the moment he feels even remotely uncomfortable with it, it’d be over – no questions asked. Perhaps after we’re married and have kids, I’ll stop entertaining the idea of bringing strangers back to our home, or make alternative plans. Sure, it’s not sexy to plan school and tuition runs with threesomes and slave-play. But if you enjoy a lifestyle, you make it work.
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