NAVIGATING THE RELATIONSHIP
Going out and seeing other men felt like I was entering the dating scene again. The only difference was that I didn’t have to ascertain whether they had the mental fortitude to meet my parents. We’d meet and eventually go back to mine for sex – that was it. During those dates, Thomas would ask for a quick update to suss out how I was feeling about the guy, which would also act as a security check. Sometimes, these texts would prompt questions from my potential paramours.
Now, it was up to me to decide whether it was worth sharing that I had a boyfriend. I’d inform them about Thomas if it wasn’t going to be more than a one-time thing, or if it seemed as if they might grow attached to me. More often than not, I’d tell them I was seeing other people and that I wasn’t looking for anything serious.
In my case, Thomas has high levels of ‘compersion’, which is the feeling of joy associated with your loved one seeking happiness with another. In short, he’s the least jealous person out there! The only rule he had was that I wasn’t to sleep with any exes – which wasn’t a problem anyways. Alternative relationships depend heavily on trust and the ability to communicate transparently about potentially hairy issues.
Straightforward terms involved not doing anything that would be deemed as “being a couple” such as going on holidays or attending weddings together. Overall, he’s given me a lot of breathing room and trust – so much so that I’d never cross any boundaries that would hurt our relationship.