Science reveals that when you want to communicate something crucial to your husband, a five-second touch can get your message across faster than words ever could.
You know that to keep your relationship strong, being able to communicate is the key. But what you don’t realise is that you don’t always need to have a heart-to-heart, or even speak at all, to stay tight. Instead, a recent study shows that a fleeting touch (we are talking for as little as five seconds) can express specific emotions, such as happiness, love and anger.
“Touch is one of the most primitive ways we can communicate, but it is also one of the most effective,” explains Dr David Givens, director of the Centre of Nonverbal Studies. “It’s the first ‘language’ we learn as babies, so we understand it quickly and instinctively.” This is awesome news for couples.
“Since men are less verbal than women are, a simple gesture can have more impact on him than a lengthy conversation might,” says Givens. Read on to discover which touches will do everything from bringing your guy out of a funk to prevent a fight… all without having to utter those four dreaded words: ‘We need to talk.’
When you need to say “I’m sorry”
Reach over and squeeze his knee (while you’re both sitting).
Touching his knee as you apologise makes him feel connected to you, so he is more receptive to what you are trying to say. “The knee is your go-to area spot because it’s neutral territory,” explains Givens. “It’s not as invasive as touching a leg or an arm would be, so he won’t recoil if he is upset.” Plus when you extend your arm to touch his knee, your body has to bend forward slightly. “This is a submissive posture that subconsciously signals to his brain that you are genuinely contrite and would like his forgiveness,” says Givens. And since you’re (very subtly) “bowing toward him, it makes him feel validated, so he’s even more likely to accept your apology.”