STANDING UP AGAIN
It’s not easy to find your footing after years of marriage. Dr Yeo Pei Li, a licensed professional counsellor at Rekindle Centre for Systemic Therapy, shares tips on rebuilding your life.
1. Take stock of your emotions
Reflect and review the past, rather than relive it. It’ll help you stand back from emotions and judgements, in order to learn from the past and develop a new perspective of the situation. Reflection will bring clarity, understanding, and inner peace.
2. Take personal responsibility
Be accountable, forgive yourself, and forgive those who have hurt you. Stop the blaming, take ownership, and move on with your new life. You have a choice in managing your expectations, beliefs, anger, resentment, and even actions.
3. Take baby steps
Instead of being anxious about the future, take it one step at a time. If the first step is to talk to somebody, you need to get over any potential shame you feel in talking about your new marital status and need for help.
4. Take opportunities
Despite what has happened, you can learn to like, appreciate, and reinvent yourself again. It can be as simple as going for a new haircut, trying a new hobby, or even exploring spirituality.
5. Take on new roles
Learn to be single again, and take on the roles and responsibilities held by your ex. Explore new things and allow yourself to make mistakes! If you’re still emotionally affected by the divorce six months down the road, you may want to consider seeing a counsellor to help you through your negative emotions.
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