Some friends can be bossy but really do have your interest at heart, but some might just be downright toxic and all they’re looking out for is themselves. Look for the signs to determine if you have a toxic friend and decide if she should still be in your life, or if you might need to minimise interactions with her.
5 Signs To Look Out For
1. You don’t get the chance to speak
You and a couple of friends are having a conversation but when it’s your turn to speak, your friend cuts you off and hijacks the conversation. And when you actually do get to speak, she barely listens to what you’re saying and does not acknowledge it. A real friend will listen to you, even if you have different perspective on things.
2. She is always negative
She never likes the restaurants you picked, the dresses you wore or the movies you’ve seen. It is hard trying to be happy and positive when you’re around someone who is constantly negative. There’s always something to say to bring you down and make you feel bad or weird for doing it. Good friends would always want to be happy with you and exude positive vibes that lift each other up.
3. She needs you for absolutely everything
It can be exhausting and time-consuming when you have to be available for your friend 24/7. She needs you to have coffee with her whenever she wants to rant about work. She gets angry when you don’t reply her immediately or answer her calls. It will reach a point when she’s too dependent on you that it crosses the line and exhausts you. Start stepping back to let her know that you have your own life, too and may not be available all the time.
4. You feel peer pressure from her
Whether it’s buying an expensive item that you want but don’t need, or going on a blind date, or even forcing you to confront your boss about getting a raise even if you don’t feel comfortable doing it, does your friend always insist that you listen to her and do things how she would have done it? It’s disrespectful to put you in an uncomfortable position, especially when it’s your life and has nothing to do with hers. It’s a power play that your friend gets satisfaction from at the expense of your mental well-being.
5. You don’t look forward to seeing her
You constantly reschedule your lunch dates and avoid her calls. You somehow feel better when she’s not around. That’s a red flag itself – you should feel excited and looking forward to spending time with your friend rather than avoiding her. You deserve a friendship where you’re excited about plans to do things together that will actually enrich your life instead of drain the energy out of you.
If you have a friend who ticks all the boxes (and these are just but a few out of a longer list of toxic-friend-things out there), you might want to consider staying away from her or spending as little time as possible with her, for the sake of your own happiness.