1. TRYING TO CHANGE HIM
There’s no such thing as a perfect person, so don’t expect unrealistic changes from your spouse, especially when you’ve been married for years. Reminding him to do the dishes is one thing, but trying to radically change his personality is another. Besides, why try to change him now if you’ve already accepted him long ago? Isn’t he the same person you fell in love with?
2. ARGUING IN PUBLIC
And that includes throwing a fit on social media. Seriously, do you really want the world to know about your private life? Arguing in public not only embarrasses yourself, but it makes everyone around you feel uncomfortable, too. Talk it out in private and solve it yourself. It’s alright to seek for council from your friends and families, but there’s no need to publicise your issues.
3. AVOIDING CONFLICTS
Being in love isn’t always rainbows and sunshine. Disagreements are bound to happen and arguments can be a healthy part of a relationship. This simply shows that both you and your spouse have your own opinions and that as long as both of you are willing to talk it out and compromise, your relationship will be stronger than ever.
4. NOT TALKING IT OUT
When you have issues, it’s better to talk to your partner about it than keeping it bottled up. He can’t possibly read your mind, so speak to him and share your troubles. He may not be able to give you solutions, but sometimes a listening ear will suffice. Studies suggest couples are less stressed when they discuss their issues rather than keep their feelings bottled up.
5. FORGETTING TO FORGIVE
People make mistakes, and holding on to grudges not only hurts relationships — it could also cause stress and anxiety. If your spouse made a mistake and has already apologised sincerely, forgive him and move on. Besides, holding on to anger may harm your physical and mental health. So put those negativity aside and move on.
6. KEEPING SCORE
Sure, relationships should be about give and take, that’s why it’s important not to be that calculative person who keeps track of every little detail. When you’re in a relationship, little things like who’s paying for dinner or groceries shouldn’t be a big deal anymore. It can cause unnecessary tension.
You’ll be surprised at how often people snoop at their partner’s phones or computers just to catch him or her in the act. But like we’ve always said, trust is the key to all successful and healthy relationships. You should have faith in your partner and respect their privacy. Ask yourself this, if you don’t trust your partner, why bother spending the rest of your life with him?
Feeling jealous or doubting your partner can only mean one thing: you’re feeling insecure. As insignificant as it seems, don’t brush your insecurities aside, confront it. Why do you feel jealous? Get to the root of the problem and be honest with your partner, maybe he can clear things up for you.
Forget about the ex and stop comparing a current partner with a person from your past. There’s a reason your ex belongs in the past, not the present. So don’t bring that person up again, especially when you’re feeling unsatisfied with your husband. Instead, the things both of you can do to improve your relationship.
A lack of confidence can really do some damage: Low self-esteem has been linked to low sex drives. Try getting active, setting healthy goals for yourself, and even smiling more to improve self-confidence. But don’t forget that an unhealthy relationship can actually cause low-self esteem, so steer clear of someone who makes you feel less than great.
*This article was written by Stephanie Yap