REAL LIFE: “Why I Decided to Forgive My Cheating Husband”

Marie* tells us why she decided to forgive her husband even though he cheated on her after ten years of marriage. 

“Four years ago, my husband Lionel* suddenly broke the news to me that he wanted to end our 10-year marriage. I was devastated as we had four young children – my youngest son was less than a year old. I pressed him for a reason and he kept saying that he wasn’t in love with me any more. He also refused marriage counselling.

Over the next few months, we led separate lives even though we were still living under the same roof. We agreed to keep up pretenses in front of our family and friends until we officially filed for divorce. All the while, I suffered sleepless nights, wracked with self-blame over the end of my marriage.

Then one day, out of the blue, I got a call from a woman who admitted that she had been seeing my husband for the last six months. She claimed they had met at a club – on one of those nights when he’d supposedly been working late – and that they were in love and he had promised to leave me for her. She said she’d wanted to tell me truth as she felt guilty over the break-up of our marriage.

I confronted Lionel, threw a screaming fit and immediately moved out with my kids to my parents’ place. The worst part wasn’t walking away – it was hearing my children ask me when they could see Daddy again. I also hired a lawyer to start drawing up divorce papers.

About half a year later, Lionel suddenly showed up at my parents’ place. He wanted to have a heart-to-heart talk with me and I agreed. He broke down and cried – a rarity for him, since he’s always been the tough, macho sort – and begged me for forgiveness. He said that the months I had been away had made him realise just how much he’d taken me for granted throughout our marriage, and that my leaving had left a void that no other woman could fill. He pleaded for another chance at our marriage.

I was sceptical at first but I thought about my children, who would have to grow up without their father. I admit that, initially, I agreed to reconcile with him because of them. Nonetheless, we went for couples’ therapy and many counselling sessions – we still see a counsellor to this day. Over the last few years, I’ve noticed that he has changed – he is more attentive towards me, he spends more time at home and he doesn’t flinch when I question him about his whereabouts.

Do I trust him? At first, I didn’t – I used to constantly worry that he would cheat on me again. But, over time, I’ve sensed genuine sincerity in his actions and words – even if it’s simple things like cooking meals for me when I’m sick or buying me flowers. Being apart also opened our eyes to the mistakes we’d constantly made in the past and I realised that I, too, played a part in the breakdown of our marriage.

My family and friends still worry – especially my mum, who believes that men who cheat will never change. There is nothing I can say to convince them otherwise, so I’m just letting his actions and our marriage speak for themselves. Right now, Lionel and I are definitely in a good place.

This article is taken from herworldPLUS
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